Philip LaFresque and Jack Daniel's depressing day in the kitchen [29/??? artefacts collected]

[sadfreezingbrit_archive]

[ And then this happened and Philip was back in his body. Just like that. Just... like that.

Not that the time off was a breeze, oh no. The things he said to some people, the things Clarence did, but... there are the things he didn't do. The things he could've done so easily and yet--

And yet Philip is back in his body and nobody is hurt. Nobody is dead.

But the conclusions he's supposed to draw from this...

He takes a sip of whiskey. His first empty bottle now and quite likely not his last. That's how everyone will find him during the day: Sitting in the kitchen. Sipping on glass after glass, trying to make sense of what the hell happened in those past five days.

...Only later in the afternoon has he finally made his mind up about some things, leading to the following three audio transmissions: ]

[PRIVATE AND LOCKED TO DEAN]

Hey, I just... wanted to say that I'm- I'm back. I...

[ And then he hangs up, because everything else he wants to say is just so far out of his mental reach now, it's not even funny. ]

[PRIVATE AND LOCKED TO SANTANA]

Er, about... about the last time we talked, I think... there's something I think- I think I ought to tell you. Can we- Could we meet up someplace if you've got a moment? Please? Thanks.

[PRIVATE AND LOCKED TO BEISTE]

...Um, Shan-- Coach? I just... I just wanted to apologise for everything I-- for the last time we talked. That was after-- I wasn't... exactly myself then. I'm really sorry.

[[OOC: Slightly pre-dated to early afternoon on the 10th]]

Comments

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[Finally, Santana stops twirling the gun. Oh, she's still staring, of course. Duh. But now she's giving him her ~undivided attention.]

Uh, okay... Are you saying there's a third you wandering around? Because it couldn't have been your mirror, or he would have hit on me.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ And a fourth, technically. ]

...Not separately, no. But, erm...

[ He remembers the most compelling argument he had for telling her. The easiest way he can think of beginning to explain. ]

Tim and I, we... we sort of had... the same- a similar problem.

[ He clears his throat. ]

I'm not... always me.

1/I'll let you know

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[...]

done! 8D

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

...What.

Thank you, I quite enjoyed that.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ This would be an excellent opportunity to yell APRIL FOOLS and leave the room, wouldn't i-- Okay, apparently not.

He tries to hold off thinking about her reaction until later and continues: ]

Back at home I went abroad just before I came to Wonderland. You probably won't care about the details, but I... I caught something, a virus.

There aren't any symptoms [ he cares to describe to her ], instead it's just... the virus itself. Which... has a personality. And gave himself a name.

[ It falls short of the information he usually provides, but something tells him that she isn't the type to care about the personal story surrounding his... problem. ]

you are welcome, serial-editor!

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

A...a virus.

[That doesn't sound good at all. And she's slowly starting to get a little freaked out.]

Like. Like an illness? Like a disease?

I feel I have to compensate for only offering one tag at a time

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Just like that.

[ He stops the twitch in the corner of his mouth from turning into a grin. It's not much, but it's the tiniest fragment of payback. Because he knows how Clarence oh so loves that particular description. ]

...You've met him before. When I said I--

[ Will you look at that, another plus point! One lie down! ]

He's my "drinking problem".

XD

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[Oh please, Philip. As if you don't also have a real drinking problem.

I MEAN.]

...You're serious. [She sounds emotionless, like they could be discussing how they like their tea. (Spoiler: she doesn't like tea.)]

The knife.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ HE CAN QUIT ANYTIME HE WANTS TO EXCEPT NOW, LATER OR EVER!

I mean... ]

The knife, [ he repeats. ]

{ And the slutty brat! I'd hate for you guys to forget about the slutty brat! }

...He can't just [ He snaps his fingers. ] take over, not like-- [ *cough* Anyway. ] ...but it- it happens. Sometimes.

[ Small comforts? :D ]

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[She taps her fingers against the handle of the gun.]

...Is it contagious?

[Well hello there, emotion in her voice! She sounds tense, as if expecting the worst.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip used to be terrified of the possibility. It's the least of his worries now. ]

It's not exactly a common cold, you'd have to do more than--

[ Cough or sneeze or shake hands or fuck his mirror without a condom oh wait. ]

...I don't think so. In my world it was, but--

[ The syringe. Show some decisiveness! ]

Not here, no.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[She's just going to be...silent. And possibly look a little terrified.

And be silent some more as she tries to keep from doing something stupid like burst into tears or something.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ ...He really should have been more decisive about that from the beginning, shouldn't he? ]

It's not. I've been here for over a year, I've had somebody else injected with my blood and nobody's caught it so far, besides, if you didn't turn into--

[ You know what? This is probably not the best time to tell her what usually happens to the people who get infected. ]

...If you didn't show any symptoms by now you'll be fine. And trust me, you'd know if you had.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

...And that works on both sides?

[Because it's not like she's about to screw you, Philip. God.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ YOU DON'T SAY. ]

...He'd probably have infected half of their side by now if it didn't.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[Pause.]

True.

...Okay, so I'm not gonna start killing people any more than I already did... Good to know.

[She still seems remarkably calm about all of this, doesn't she?]

So you're telling me because...?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Because--

[ Wow, that is a good question, actually.

The reasons he had sounded great when they were still circling around in his head, but having to put them into a coherent response is...

Why did he tell her? ]

...Because I'd rather not have you think I was the one threatening you with a knife or calling you a murderer.

[ Yes! Excellent. Well done, wording skills.

After the last event, after their last talk which wasn't really their talk at all Philip felt especially frustrated about not being able to voice his own thoughts on her event-mandated killing spree.

And. Well. Perhaps to round it off... ]

...And I'm going to need a few drinks after this and I'd rather not have you report me to AA.

[itsahotone.livejournal.com]

[After some delicious silence...]

So this means you don't want me to be your sponsor anymore?

[It's not exactly delivered as snarkily as she'd usually make it so. She's still a little thrown by all of this, and apparently he doesn't want her to think awful things of him, which is...oddly nice. This could have been a pretty foolproof way to make sure they never ever spoke again if he wanted it, so.

Huh. Weird.

(Santana always thinks it's weird when she doesn't basically hate someone.)]

Soooo. What does this mean?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ He laughs. Much as he'd like a sponsor to help him from slipping into Clarence mode, he doubts it's as simple as that. ]

What it means? Er...

[ So what does it mean? He expected her to pick her own interpretation, regardless of what he wants it to mean. Just a second to collect those thoughts. ]

It means if you ever meet him again I want you to run.

[ Said decisively, though he doubts that one is a lesson she needs to be taught. Still, safety was a concern and he might as well remind her.

The other item on the list is delivered with more hesitation and an urgency that's more pleading than the last: ]

It means... it means I haven't exactly told a lot of people and- and I doubt I will, I doubt I could, so I'd... I'd rather you didn't pass it along.

[ Try as he might, he doesn't quite manage to make it sound casual.

Philip believes he has a reason why he trusts Santana with this information, but that doesn't mean he isn't slightly terrified his reason could be wrong. ]