[ Almost choking on the air he could breathe again he ran outside. Ran and ran until he stopped on the beach; disoriented, confused. When he'd calmed down he reached for his transmission device because Dean said he would get them because Dean said they would be next because he had to--
He saw the blood on his hands, on everything, remembered how it got there, remembered his last transmission and its reason and its aftermath and everything everything everything
After that he didn't get a chance to call, whether he'd wanted to or not.
He wanted to. He thinks he wanted to. He'd like to think that he wanted to.
But he didn't. And to remember why is upsetting. To have her imply that this is about being right or wrong is upsetting. ]
This has nothing to do with-- Maybe I didn't bother because you can't grasp that this is actually dangerous and I'm out of ideas how to get this into your head!
1/2
He saw the blood on his hands, on everything, remembered how it got there, remembered his last transmission and its reason and its aftermath and everything everything everything
After that he didn't get a chance to call, whether he'd wanted to or not.
He wanted to. He thinks he wanted to. He'd like to think that he wanted to.
But he didn't. And to remember why is upsetting. To have her imply that this is about being right or wrong is upsetting. ]
This has nothing to do with-- Maybe I didn't bother because you can't grasp that this is actually dangerous and I'm out of ideas how to get this into your head!