Readers who would like to use the restroom are encouraged to do so now. Go ahead, it will take quite a while. Perhaps get a drink while you're at it - or a sandwich.
Me? I'll use the time to provide you with the truthful answer to this question:
- What usually keeps Philip awake is Clarence. Clarence, the one who doesn't seem to need sleep and is free to converse with Philip all night... or mimic the sound of a foghorn, if he's feeling complacent.
- There is the pain too, but that one is only a recent addition. Almost negligible in the grand scheme of things, really.
- There is even an upside to the event, relating to the fact that Clarence seems unusually quiet in Philip's re-wired brain. Discomfort, exhaustion, who knows? Either way, if Philip were to go to bed he might just make it through the night without the Tuurngait's interference keeping him awake.
- Ah, but sadly there's still the actual reason why Philip can't keep his eye closed for more than a few minutes tops:
- The pills he constantly has to take to get through a Clarence-infested night aren't the sort of thing you just throw away one day. They are beautiful and special and if Philip's brain can't shut down with their help then it refuses to shut down at all.
Of course the insomnia is only one of many fun side effects, but we (read: Philip) will get to that in a few hours. In the meantime-- Is that you, dear reader?
Did you finish your business? Why, I sure hope you remembered to wash your hands after using the restroom, otherwise I would not recommend taking a bite out of that delicious sandwich.
But it seems you are back and so I believe we are just about ready for Philip's version of the truth now; an elaborate excuse the cleverness of which shall undoubtedly be without equal: ]
LEECHES ARE NOT THE ANSWER. Although there's a lively swarm in lab #7
[ What follows now is a long pause. A long pause.
Readers who would like to use the restroom are encouraged to do so now. Go ahead, it will take quite a while. Perhaps get a drink while you're at it - or a sandwich.
Me? I'll use the time to provide you with the truthful answer to this question:
- What usually keeps Philip awake is Clarence. Clarence, the one who doesn't seem to need sleep and is free to converse with Philip all night... or mimic the sound of a foghorn, if he's feeling complacent.
- There is the pain too, but that one is only a recent addition. Almost negligible in the grand scheme of things, really.
- There is even an upside to the event, relating to the fact that Clarence seems unusually quiet in Philip's re-wired brain. Discomfort, exhaustion, who knows? Either way, if Philip were to go to bed he might just make it through the night without the Tuurngait's interference keeping him awake.
- Ah, but sadly there's still the actual reason why Philip can't keep his eye closed for more than a few minutes tops:
- The pills he constantly has to take to get through a Clarence-infested night aren't the sort of thing you just throw away one day. They are beautiful and special and if Philip's brain can't shut down with their help then it refuses to shut down at all.
Of course the insomnia is only one of many fun side effects, but we (read: Philip) will get to that in a few hours. In the meantime-- Is that you, dear reader?
Did you finish your business? Why, I sure hope you remembered to wash your hands after using the restroom, otherwise I would not recommend taking a bite out of that delicious sandwich.
But it seems you are back and so I believe we are just about ready for Philip's version of the truth now; an elaborate excuse the cleverness of which shall undoubtedly be without equal: ]
I haven't... got a room.
[ ...Well. That was anticlimactic. ]