[It's somewhat hypocritical of Dean to feel this awful and refuse to take his own advice, but he supposes that he should have considered what the other side felt like when the disaster itself was over with. Cleaning up the aftermath of an atomic bomb is harder than it looks, particularly when that bomb feels like it went off inside your skull.

Yet even with the surplus of angst that's threatening to shut down his entire body, there are some things out there (aside from cutting your friend's eye out) that are simply criminal.]

Dude, onions in scrambled eggs?

[He slides a paper-wrapped stick of butter across the counter and gives Philip an "Are you serious?" look.]

Why dontcha add some bell peppers while you're at it and throw off the whole eggy flavor?

[Well done, Philip. No, seriously. No sarcasm here. Well done. You weirdo Brits and your weirdo food.]